BREAKING FROM FALSE POSITIVITY: TRANSFORMING INNER SHAME INTO LOVE

Introduction: The Stories We Tell Our Bodies

The narratives we create around our bodies are often shaped by fear, judgment, and social conditioning, rather than love, freedom, and acceptance. These stories, passed down through generations—by parents, schools social media, and religion and often formed from our traumatic and negative life experiences. Our body mindset is largely developed in our early years, these subconscious beliefs govern our actions, ultimately steering the course of our lives.

The Power of the Body Mindset: These body stories help form our self-image, serving an important role, particularly in the early stages of life. They can protect us and shape our personalities, influencing how we perceive our physical appearance, our bodies often mirror these beliefs, both the positive and the negative. The mind is so powerful that it can even create illnesses, excess weight, through distorting our self-perception.

The Impact of a Healthy Environment

If you’re fortunate enough to grow up in an environment where your body is respected, admired, and appreciated, you’re more likely to develop a healthy body image. You'll likely have a body you love and feel proud of, and your weight will reflect a healthy self-esteem. Unfortunately, many of us don't have that privilege. Instead, we inherit limiting beliefs and negative body stories that create barriers between us and our bodies. These beliefs contribute to unhealthy weight, distorted eating habits, and dysfunctional relationships with food.

The False Positive: The Perfect Exterior, The Inner Battle

We very well can shape our bodies, fitness, and eating habits through hard work. However, if we fail to address the negative body image paradigms stored deep within our subconscious, we may fall into self-destructive patterns. This is what I call the “False Positive.”

A False Positive occurs when we have a perfect body on the outside, we appear fit, in good shape and do on, but our inner mindset remains rooted in dissatisfaction, shame, and self-criticism. No matter how we look, we feel there's always something to improve—something perceived as imperfect, something that doesn’t meet accepted standards. We chase perfection, continually rejecting and undermining the progress we've made/

Personal Story: Struggling with Body Image

I know this from personal experience. Throughout my teens and until my late twenties, I struggled with a negative body image. I exercised regularly (often to exhaustion) and had a fit, toned body. To the outside world, I had the "perfect physique," but internally, I was locked in a battle with my body, filled with constant negativity and shame. My beliefs about my body were so limiting that I tried to control everything that could jeopardize my "perfect" body: I counted calories, starved myself, fasted, and exercised obsessively.

I was a False Positive: my exterior looked great, but inside, I was miserable. No matter how I looked, I never felt “good enough.” I constantly criticized my body—my breasts were too big, my stomach was too fat, and so on. Even though I had a body many people admired, I never felt like I truly inhabited it. I lived in a constant state of dissatisfaction, always searching for something to fill the deep void inside me. Sadly said I was very disembodied appearing being very in my body.

Then, in my late twenties, my subconscious mind couldn’t be ignored any longer. I started adopting habits that mirrored my subconscious beliefs about my body. I became an overeater, binge-eater, and stopped exercising. Eventually, I gained weight.

It was difficult to watch my body transform, and while upsetting, it became a call from my soul to shift my limiting paradigms. This was the beginning of a deeper change in my subconscious body mindset—one that would eventually allow me to form healthier habits and, ultimately, a healthier body weight. This is also my first aware steps into my spiritual journey.

The Consequences of a False Positive

People like I was, living as False Positives walk a dangerous path. Over time, the body’s natural response begins to align with negative subconscious beliefs. The “perfect” exterior masks an unhealed mind, and an unhealthy mindset starts to manifest in the body. Eventually, the body may rebel—resulting in weight gain, physical changes, or even illnesses that reflect internal misalignment. This creates a vicious cycle of striving for an unattainable ideal, never feeling “good enough,” and continuing the battle against oneself. It is like working against the body trough will power and trying to control every action but the subconscious telling you the opposite message.

Breaking Free: From Body Shame to Body Love

When I asked myself, “Can I break free from this false positivity?” the healing journey began. I longed to build a new relationship with my body—one based on gratitude, kindness, and ultimately, love. Understanding that mindset plays a crucial role in transforming body shame into pride was key. This journey goes beyond just changing your body—it's about shifting your mindset and embracing a deeper transformation.

Practical Tips for Moving From False Positivity to Body Love

If you identify with being a False Positive, here are a few practices from my own journey that can help you begin shifting your mindset:

1. Appreciative Observation: Look at yourself in the mirror with acceptance, not judgment. Acknowledge your body without invalidating or criticizing it. Start with acceptance, even if it’s not yet love.

2. Movement with Mindfulness: Engage in any form of movement—whether stretching, dancing, or walking—and celebrate what your body can do. Focus on being present and appreciating the complexity of your body’s abilities.

3. Self-Forgiveness: Recognize and forgive your self-criticism. Awareness is the first step to healing. By acknowledging and forgiving negative thoughts, you open the door to self-love.

4. Examine Thoughts, Feelings, and Beliefs: Our thoughts are powerful. They create physiological responses in our bodies and shape how we feel about ourselves. Shift negative thoughts to positive ones, fostering a healthy mindset. Pay attention to how you talk to your body—whether you avoid looking at certain parts, bully yourself into fitting clothes for smaller bodies, or criticize your appearance. Bringing awareness to your feelings and thoughts will help your transformation towards body freedom.

Conclusion: Embracing the Gift of Our Bodies

The journey from body shame to body love is not easy, but it’s worth the effort. By addressing the stories we've internalized and shifting our mindset, we can start making meaningful changes that reflect a healthy, balanced relationship with our bodies. When we unveil negative beliefs and dismantle them, we begin to refine our body wisdom and intuition. We become more attuned to our body’s voice, free from the clutter of False Positivity.

Our body is a magnificent tool—imperfect, yet perfect in its uniqueness. Letting go of the pressure to conform to societal standards and instead, we can embrace the gift of our body. When we stop the internal war and start living with appreciation we open up to unveil the gifts that are beyond our body imperfections and symptoms.