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WE BORN BODY CONFIDENT-ITS OUR BIRTH RIGHT

Writer's picture: Rosalba RandalRosalba Randal

Updated: Nov 15, 2021

BODY CONFIDENCE


I used to feel so envious with women who had fit/weight balanced/well toned bodies. I used to ask myself: I wonder what they eat, what they do to be that shape, that weight, that toned, that fit. Although my physical appearance was ok, I did not think so... Even worse, I felt all the opposite. The sense of rejection towards my body was almost disgust. I always criticized and compared. By no means I felt my body was in balance, let alone perfect, although I was completely healthy. The talk with my body had the connotation of shame and punishment, My body never was good enough.


I think that we establish a relationship with our body initially through the messages that we send to it: approval, disapproval, love, dislike, joy, suffering, shame. In this continuous conversation we refine a code and we perfect it through years of experience and the body creates its own responses accordingly: overweight, underweight, craving, binges and so on.


These are body manifestations of something much deeper that has to do with our self image, self worth and self-appreciation. The conversation that is ingrained in our belief systems through repetition is reflected in body malfunctions and misalignments, as we behave 95% from our subconscious beliefs we act upon this inner conversation with: lack of care, neglect, abuse, sabotage and bully through unhealthy jokes that reinforce our beliefs.


I realised a while ago that one of the reasons why diets do not work in the long run is because they do not tackle real causes and issues of overweight. Although we follow eating protocols, the inner body conversation is the king and self-sabotage happens easily as law of body loyalty to the subconscious mind.

Lack of body confidence very often does not come initially from body Weight problems, and the opposite is usually true: The cause of Body Weight problems comes from lack of Body Confidence and self-acceptance. And of course weight problems feed the lack of confidence, transforming the whole situation in an repetitive circle.


As children most of us went through traumas/body pains/illnesses/emotional stress that got ingrained in our psyche and made us create distrust and detachment with our bodies, we created thinking patterns and body strategies in order to guard ourselves and feel safe. These strategies work as defence and survival mechanisms until they stop working and become burdens blocking our health and happiness.

As years pass by and we get into adulthood we tent to perpetuate these patterns and we reaffirm them through comparing ourselves, following fad and standardised diet/ eating/exercising styles. This does not help because standards protocols fail to meet specific physical needs, when the protocols and/or diets do not work, we blame ourselves when they do not work and it is another reason to keep punishing and criticizing ourselves.


The body as our instrument/way to relate to this physical realm we choose to live in, for this relation to be harmonious, our intimacy and communication with our body needs to be healthy. The more we listen and attend our bodies' needs the more body confident we become. Learning to trust our body is a skill that is refined through practicing communication, receiving and acting upon body feedback.

If we see the body as a story teller, we would ask it more questions, we would be able to enquiry deeper, we would be able to acknowledge and honour how many paths it has walked, how many illnesses/virus/bacteria it has survived, how many clashes it has gone through, Body will tell you, body does not lie.


We born body confident, have you seen a little baby moving gracefully and proudly, and daring to try one thing after another one? Through distorted messages we lose that confidence, and start distrusting body messages. But we always can start rebuilding and recoding a personal body language to build this intimacy and trust, simply by observing, moving consciously, noticing changes, acting upon body requests. It is almost like re-membering the body trust which we born with and because we all have been already there, it is accessible for any one and this can make a big difference in the way how we relate to our bodies.


To work towards body confidence it is important having in place a holistic approach where we are available for:


1. A paradigm shift which must include facing emotional and mental work on outdated paradigms around Body Image, Self-Love, Worthiness, self esteem.


2. Conscious Body Work: Any kind of Body Work that is done with full engagement. We are all different and have different likes and levels of fitness. You can not assume that you are going to change your body image only through emotional and mental work, it is necessary to embody YOU, because that is precisely the reason why we do not feel confident, because we avoid the possibility of body engagement and joy.


3. Educating ourselves and be fully observant: having the body as the main source of feedback, getting familiar to our physiology, and anatomy, and acquiring more information to relate healthily with our bodies. Knowledge is a tool for self-empowerment and decisions made on this basis respond to our unique needs.


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